Flashback Friday: boys will be boys edition

I don’t exactly remember how we ended up here, but earlier this week, Juan José Vallejo and I ended up watching this video. He was laughing at all the trash talking they were doing towards Rafa. I said it might be funnier if I spoke Spanish and he kindly offered to translate! So, without further ado, Rafa, Pico, Moya and friends playing video games.

1st Segment: Intro and Presentation of official Tenis Pro hats (quite the honor)

Pico: “Don’t go anywhere, here comes the awaited match Moya-Nadal-Zabaleta.

Zabaleta: Now we are awarding new team member status, as decided by Chela and Zabaleta, because there are very few foreigners (non-Argentinians), only Nadal, Moya, Massú and Nico Lapentti have these hats.

Zabaleta: “Only Massu and Pico have a team hat”

Nadal: “Thank you very much… I appreciate it”

2nd segment: Presentation of River Plate shirt to Moya

Zabaleta: “And here the River Plate fans”

Nadal: “Moya is fan of Estudiantes”

Zabaleta: “He’s not fan of Estudiantes, you are the Estudiantes fan! (To Moya) Show the name, show the name.

Mónaco: Listen, these guys (River Plate) were left out of everything… we (Estudiantes, his team) played Libertadores, Sudamericana, everything.”

Moya: “I would like a Boca t-shirt also, please”

Zabaleta: “Stop f**ing around! Are you a moron?! Its the same as Barcelona-Real Madrid! (The rivalry – it actually is much worse. River Plate and Boca Juniors hate each other to death, and they have to live in the same city. Moya is making a terrible, terrible request)

Nadal: “I have a Boca t-shirt!

Chela: “You have a Boca one?”

Nadal: “Yeah, and signed by Schelotto'”

Zabaleta: “You’re so annoying” (Zabaleta actually calls Nadal “ladilla,” which refers to this unpleasant bug)

3rd segment: Finally, the Moya-Nadal Winning Eleven match

Zabaleta: “Who is winning 1-0?”

Pico: “Inter-Moya.

Zabaleta: “Inter-Moya? and who is the other one, Manchester?”

Moya screams: “Tape this! Tape this!! Goooooooal!!! (After Nadal throws the controller into the bed and accidentally hits Moya) Hey!!! Aggression!!

Nadal: Indiscernible cursing that ends with the word ass

Chela: “I can assure you Nadal is pretty bad at this (Winning Eleven, apparently)”

Moya: “He sucks, right?”

***

Moya: “Keep recording”

Zabaleta: “If he scores again, its a true beating.”

Moya: “Goooooooal!!

Mónaco: “This is embarrassing, dude!”:

Moya: “This is going is for all of South America, right?”

Zabaleta: “For all of South America!”

***

Nadal: “I always have a chance! I’m a fighter!”

(The team puts in a funny sound mocking Nadal’s very serious proclamation)

***

Moya: Goooooooal!!

Nadal: (bites controller) “Look at the crappy controller they’ve given me”

Mónaco: “But what do you want me to do if you’re the one who threw it against the wall, dumbass?”

***

Mónaco: “(to Moya) Dude, if you score this one, I’m outta here” (This just means that it would be an amazing goal, not that Mónaco would actually leave)

PS voice: “An incredible goal… the fifth one!! what an elegant shot”

(Moya’s wave is the dorkiest thing ever)

***

Moya: “Here comes the six-zero”.

Nadal: “No wait, I kicked it out (the shot), what a f****** son of a b****!!! (Throws controller into the bed)

***

Nadal: Van Nistelroy, this one is mine, this one is mine, I have it!! I have it!!

Moya: The goalie stops it!!! What a play!

***

Mónaco: Here comes the sixth one!!! (YMCA music in the background, as Moya indeed scores his sixth goal against Nadal).

***

Pico: Whatever happens, I still gave Rafa his worst beating ever. I beat him 9-1 in Montecarlo.

Rafa: Goooooooal!! (Nadal runs around wildly)

Mónaco: “It’s six-one! What the f***? are you celebrating?” (Nadal does push-ups)

***

Mónaco: “This is your Playstation, we’ll make another video when we play with ours.”

***

Nadal: “Girls don’t pay any attention to me!”

Mónaco: (Mockingly) “Come to Buenos Aires and see if they don’t pay any attention to you there!!!”

***

Last segment: Zabaleta is now playing Moya, the Winning Eleven GOAT

Zabaleta: “Did you see that?? Show the formation (the way the team is tactically set up), this son of a b*** is the anti-soccer! He’s lining up six defenders!

Mónaco: (As he tries to capture the formation with the camera) “Look at that…the rat took it away!!!” (Moya clicked something, obviously ashamed of his tactics) “What a son of a b****!”

(Mónaco actually caught the formation: it’s a 5-1-1-3, which isn’t used anywhere. It’s a huge sign of weakness to line up with 5 defenders. However, since it’s video game soccer, his unbalanced formation works, since he does line up 3 strikers.)

***

Mónaco: “This game is different, Mariano, right?” (My guess is that Zabaleta played FIFA and not Winning Eleven)

Moya: “Different? Don’t bust my b*** it’s not different. (This cracks me up, because Moya uses an Argentinean expression – “dejáte de joder” – rather perfectly. The man really does love that country)

***

Moya: Gooooal!!

Mónaco: “Lets see how you look with the hat, Rafa, turn around” (Nadal obliges, and just then realizes that the hat actually has “RAFA” on the side of it)

***

PS voice: “Another goal! It’s the third!!. (Zabaleta throws something at the TV).

***

Zabaleta: “Nice River Plate jersey”

Title: Carlos Moya: Playstation GOAT

Appreciate the translation? Go thank Juan and then visit his site.

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4 Responses

  1. Aini Idora says:

    Nice!:-)

  2. Annie says:

    “Girls don’t pay any attention to me!” WHAT??? I don’t know why Rafa says this out of the blue but I find it hysterical!

    Love the translation. Thanks JJ!

  3. Denizen says:

    Thanks to you and Juan Jose for the excellent translation, especially the slang!

  4. jodiecate says:

    Wow, great vid & translation! Ok it all starts to make sense – you can imagine Rafa’s ultra competitiveness growing as a result of this humiliating defeat & mockery ;)

    That’s a cool new insult too. You’re a crab louse!
    My brothers better watch out.

    Great to see these guys having so much fun together!

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