How to Vamos: Master Class

A proper “Vamos” isn’t easy to pull off; it takes training. This class is for advance students only. You must have completed the following courses before registering:

  • Headband Folding and Tying 101
  • Bicep building 101-301
  • Kicking Ass 101, 201 and 301
  • Fist pumps 101 and 201
  • Stamping your foot with authority and not like a two year old 101
  • Butt clenching 101-301
  • Primal roar 101-201

You can only attempt a full-body Vamos after a kick-ass point or, as in the example we’ll use, winning a match. First, start with your racket in your off-hand, racket hand/leg forward (left one in the visual example) with fist firmly clenched:

Rafa Nadal

The racket arm must be used in order to have the most visual (e.g. bulging muscle) impact.

Pull your racket arm back while stepping forward with your off leg. As your arm comes back, let a small sneer start to form on your face:

Vamos: Stage 1

Continue taking the racket arm back as you lean back into the movement. Make sure your arm is fully extended as your racket leg reaches a 90 degree bend. Your face scrunch should be reaching full force as you are about to begin expelling air and letting out your “vamos”:

Vamos: Stage 2

Quickly and with great force, bring your racket arm and leg up while letting out a primal roar of “VAMOS!”. Your knee should reach chest level while your first should get as high as your headband (because you are wearing a headband):

Vamos: Stage 3

Begin to let your leg drop as your roar reaches it’s climax. For the greatest visual impact, it is vital that your racket arm fist/bicep and butt cheeks remain firmly (very firmly) clinched:

Vamos: Stage 4

Stamp the racket leg firmly to the ground while keeping your racket arm high and clinched. Make sure your hips are thrust forward as you give your team a “fuck yeah, that was great, I need a smoke” look. Added points if you can pull of a proper sneer during this stage:

Vamos: Stage 5

If this is a match-ending Vamos, keep the first high while strutting towards the net:

Vamos: Stage 6

Be sure, however, to drop your first and remove your headband before making it to the net lest you look too arrogant or “in your face” when shaking your vanquished opponent’s hand. After all, you’re just a simple, humble person at heart, no?

 



 
And yeah, this is my weird way of telling you that all my Miami photos are finally posted:

 

42 Responses

  1. ConnieinTexas says:

    That was AWESOME! I’m reading this at work and laughing – everyone wants to know what’s so funny….